I said i wanna go I-city and there was i

He was good

No?

( Also french village, ikano and many many more. Sg we almost went but din make it cuz broke up before the trip , broga was TBA,if he ever had a thought of bring the next gf going, i am sure i will be damn sad but it also can confirm that he was looking for a rebound. Rebound isn't based on love. But having a rebound doesn't mean he still wants back the pasts anyway )

Or i miss the happy me 

I can never be sure about this.

It was the thought that was killing slow .

Sometimes , we tend to stuck inside the dark clouds and unable to make a way out.

Now i am calm and i want to try my best to describe the feelings out.

I felt down since Wednesday night and continously until sunday evening. 

From Thursday to Sunday , i didn't eat anything. 

I only stuffed myself with a few bites of whole grain bread without any jam when my stomach was feeling funny.

I love my parents and i am loving the body they gave me. I wouldn't want to get gastric or anything so..

i had few bites when i really couldn't eat anything . It was the best i could do.

I was really depressed and the old habits were all coming back.

Lying on bed and unable to do what i should do.

I called home to make myself better by listening to my mom

My best friends called me

This is the time i was consciously knowing that i was going to fall , fall and fall

I needed get rid of the sadness immediately or i will simply lose the thought of being okay again

I tried very hard not to think , i couldn't.

then i went to sleep, i was finally free when i was sleeping

How sad it could be, when i opened my eyes, it was still the feeling of him with me , and i didn't want to wake up anymore , then i went back to sleep again.

This is how i wasted my time.

I woke up when my stomach was having emergency call for input. Pain. 

then i woke up for a bite.

*taken on X'mas

We broke up before Christmas and I was fine before Christmas

I did find him few times .

It can be some texts like Merry X'mas, Happy New Year , Happy CNY

*I called on 31/12/2013 for Happy New Year but he hung up my call

Before CNY , i used my room mate's phone to msg him to explain things

when i think i am okay already

i didn't expect for a reply but i think i should have done what i should have done long ago 

Then life goes on

I knew he got a gf later. I was very surprised as he told me (+his fren) he won't be in relationship so fast because he's scared

 I didn't get any sad reaction or anything.

I was just kaypoh to know is she pretty

 ( Normal reaction k...i believe some of you're thinking about it right now if you don't know who is it )

One week ++++ later , i thought of him

I thought he is okay edy since got gf liao

then i went and find him

Hope he can explain things like i did

he ignored

i went nilai then...he ignored

This is the only time i started to be crazy and sad.

I started to find him desperately

I felt as if i was a joke

People all know who's his gf

and i didn't know

His gf told me she couldn't sleep on Vday's eve..

and wtf i really didn't know anything

Later when i found out , i was taking it easy too

""chehhh, it was you'' like that to her..

then still normal. 

His gf even asked me why do i hate him and stuff

i didn't tell.

Then...when he ignored me

everything i suppressed seems to reach a limit

i broke down

i am dead

i am that childish weiwei again

I do not know why i smile smile go find him

he needs to react so BIG

then i always ended up crying and emo back 

:(

I do not know why i always cannot accept ''detachment''

People left , people passed away , even dogs (patients) die.. i also sad

my dog died i went hysteric 

i have zero EQ 

i do not how to control my emotions

i am cool alll the time

How you being sarcastic or mean

i can be still cool

But whenever it comes to relationship and pride-concerns

i die

I believe if that day , 

i am able to control my emotion  ( He too )

things will become better

There's still some faith left in me

and i am doing what i can to make myself better.

I miss the feeling of being loved by him.

then i started a new account 

only adding ppl i know

privacy was set

and i blocked him 

He will not be the only who decide when is the right time to be okay back.

:))