Bitter tit-bits

Starbucks,LCCT

I don't feel good right now.
This post was supposed to be blogging about my happy days for the Port Dickson Trip with friends and hanging out yumcha in INTI.

It was really random.
Sally was not going to bring me to MACO bakery today and
i was just being me, posted on mic's wall in fb complaining about
her, for fun, of course.

Time line is kinda stupid.
I saw 'Denise Jiamin' in the mutual friends column of mic's profile
I clicked into it ,Just to see how my ex was doing.






Awkwardly, he was the only one i loved before. Then now you see how dead i am right now
They were baking brownies together, going for trips together.....exactly doing what he had promised to me
Just with a different girl .

I feel sour. Yes i do. I have got over him but....this feeling is so indescribable.
Parts of my getting-over process were making myself obsessed with the hurt done by Kenny.
I don't love Kenny. I was just....bad and couldn't stand a bf who didn't pamper me .
I almost let him have me - just to lure him out to see me. Luckily i didn't.
This was the only good thing in the junk.

And for what Kenny had done to me , i did it to another person too.
Later on i realized what i was doing and ended it immediately ( In my own way to make him detest me)
I succeed. I felt bad, i felt very very bad.

I became a person who i had never thought i would become.
Sometimes i would become close to people who like me ,
Sometimes out of conscience, i would run as far as possible .

And somewhere deep inside me, i was hoping Hau Kit could ever come back,
and change me into the girl he was once in love before.

Anyway, i don't have time for the lovey-dovey stuff.
These were just....thoughts.
I miss him wholeheartedly . I am not sure whether it was him i am missing of, or the memories he has given.

Daddy pig, I'm sorry.